Bound by Myth: the Pleasure Chest sheds light on real BDSM culture

Courtesy of yelp.com

Courtesy of yelp.com

By Sophia Rosenthal '17
Staff Writer

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Mary, a sex specialist at The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood, has covered a table with bondage tape, floggers, lube and an assortment of other sexy items from the well-known sex shop. “We can bring to this discussion about 50 Shades[of Grey] and kink play...what kind of role feminism can play in it...if you can be a feminist and get tied up and spanked,” Mary said.

Ever since its release, E.L. James’ erotic novel 50 Shades of Grey has brought BDSM — Bondage/Discipline(Dominance)/Sadism(Submission)/Masochism — to the forefront of popular media and culture. With its controversial subject matter and highly publicized film release on Feb. 13, it seems as if everyone and their grandmother either loathes or loves the series. The “50 Shades of Grey vs. BDSM” event on Feb. 11 in Vita Nova was hosted by the Scripps Peer Health Educators as part of National Sexual Health Week. The talk aimed to both untangle the myths perpetuated by the books, as well as to clarify how safe, consensual and fun BDSM play can be taken beyond the realm of fiction. As well as explaining the fundamentals of “risk-aware, consensual kink,” the workshop went over the aspects of BDSM that are often not addressed in the media.

“Because it is negotiated and consensual, there really is no dominant person and there really is no submissive person, it just appears to be that way,” Mary said. “So it’s actually a totally even playing field.” In regards to the 50 Shades series itself and its infamous protagonists, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, there is only some overlap with a real BDSM relationship. The main criticism of the series surrounds the issue of consent:

“Consent in the book is a little questionable. He does tell her what’s going to happen...and he wants her to sign a contract saying that everything’s consensual” Mary said. “The problem with that is that...a contract within BDSM is something that a lot of people will do...when you’re way [farther along] in a relationship...You don’t enter into that sort of thing when you just met someone. It’s not informed consent...he wants her to be his slave before she even knows what that means.”

On another level, many have criticized the book for its portrayal of women:  “It is a continuation of a sexist view of women’s sexuality...there’s always a virgin…[who] knows nothing about sex and has no desires of her own...Anastasia really isn’t exploring her own sexuality...it’s a lot more imagery of male aggressiveness put onto female sexuality” Mary said. The good things? “They took...sexuality out of the bedroom a lot...and there is aftercare in the book...they have a couple things going for them.” Whether we love it or hate it, it seems that 50 Shades of Grey has made its mark. “It’s bringing the conversation about BDSM and sexuality in general into this common, cultural conversation,” Mary said. “Kink is getting brought out of the shadows a little bit...In the media it’s always shown as this serious thing...[playing] is acceptable when we’re kids, but when we’re adults it gets weird. I think you can get back to that magical, make-believe space that you had when you were a kid.” If anything, the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey has started conversations and, hopefully, made room for more diverse conversations about sexuality on campus.